Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I have been in a very blah, cranky place and didn't want to inflict it on you. I'm still not happy go-lucky chirpy but at least I'm through the PMS nobody-loves-me woe-is me blues. Please feel free to skip this post.
My husband has had to take an unexpected trip back to the states for a couple of weeks, at least. The friend I a pal around with a great deal is gone for the next two months. But today she let me break into her stash of DVDs, so at least I have some entertainment.
I had several tests done this last week. I either have loose cartilage ("joint mice") or some kind of nodule in my knee - so that is going to have to be vacuumed out. But the doctors here have to confer and I won't know for at least another week what the plan is.
Lying motionless in the MRI with my back throbbing, walking home afterwards (couldn't stand the thought of being inside a cab - needed to MOVE) with my hip killing me, as well as the knee throbbing, I realized this is all part of a bigger picture. I'm now convinced I have Ankylosing Spondylitis, a form of arthritis. My brother was diagnosed with it a year and a half ago, after I moved overseas, so I've never been tested for the genetic marker that would help prove I have it.
I hadn't paid that much attention to my brother's diagnosis. I'd superficially read the description and my lower back just wasn't aching nearly as much as it used to when I was working at a computer 8 hrs a day. I can sleep a normal night without waking up in agony (there have been times in the last 12 years when I couldn't say that). But the more I read about AS I see that it affects women in more joints than it does men and isn't just a back thing. One of the places that it can hit is the jaw - leading to clenched teeth and headaches. Headaches - like I have had for over a month now. I wake up and it's hard to open up my mouth - it's like it's frozen. I thought I was clenching for some reason, even tho I'm not under stress or having any reason to do so.
So many of the puzzle pieces are coming together. I'm 98% sure I have the disease. The hard part now is getting it made official. Sigh. Have another doctor's appointment next month and hope I can convince my doc. Don't know that there is going to be a Rheumatologist here who can really help with this - not a disease found in Africa - it mainly hits those of Northern European descent.
I feel so whiny to be going on about this when there are so many people out there with worse diseases or without homes, but I can't help it. I'm trapped in this particular body and it just plain doesn't feel good. I'd like to know that there is a cause for my fatigue and pain and swelling and headaches and it's not just that I am a pathetic, l0w-pain-threshold, hyperchondriac layabout.
Okay, that is all. I will be happier next time. Really.