Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Transition Complete: I am a Monster

See this wonderful fabric? Classic horror movie monsters acquired in one of my recent fabric acquisition sprees.  Well, it's a good thing I like these guys because I am now one of them.


If the Bride of Frankenstein were actually pictured here, it would be my face you'd see. It all began innocently enough in 2006. I had a goiter in my throat. Disgusting word that, goiter. A biopsy of the goiter revealed cancer, so out went my thyroid. The swelling was sooo huge at first that it really did look like my head had been chopped off and replaced by a new one. Over time, the effect has diminished, but the scar remains:


In 2009, I had abdominal surgery and have a big old scar from my belly button down to where the top of my bikini bottom would be, if I were ever to wear a bikini (the odds of that? zero!). I am going to save your eyes the horror (and me the humiliation) and NOT post a picture of that.

Fast forward to now, 2011. I have a noticeable streak of grey in my hair reminscent of the classic Bride's although okay, she had streaks on both sides. It's modern times, baby, and asymmetry is in.


Last month I acquired a few more baby scars hardly worth mentioning. All of that not enough to make me a monster. But last week I got the pièce de résistance, the addition of electricity:


It's ALIVE!!! 

Now they've sealed me into the condo so I can't go out and frighten the villagers.


Creepy, isn't it?


Mwa ha ha ha

39 comments:

Marisa said...

Hehe, that's cute! I mean, not the whole "doctors seem to like cutting into you and zapping you and doing not nice things" bit, but your sense of humor about the whole thing is awesome.

Michele said...

LOL! I'm scar ridden too. My middle name should be Klutz. Maybe we should have a scar off? And just when I think I've outgrown the awkward stage, now I worry I'm going to break a hip! The monster fabric is cool!

Rachael said...

Well, I don't know about being a monster, but you're definitely a nut! And the best people are!!

Jennifer D said...

Well at least you have us! I think you are the cutest little monster there is.

julieQ said...

Hmmm, I have a few scars too...battle scars!!! Well, incisional...Hee!!

deborah said...

too funny!

Melissa Saylor said...

You are so funny. But, hey, I had thyroid cancer too. They found mine in 2008 and I got the scar then it wouldn't go away so now I have a really, really BIG scar that goes from ear to ear. Lovely, if I do say so myself. You don't look like a monster to me and I love the new glasses. I have those too. :)

Sujata said...

If you are a monster, sweetest one I have come to know! Funny one too!

Kristin Shields said...

Ha! What's going on with those windows? I gave up a long time ago trying to hide my neck scar. I don't even think about it anymore.

True Blue Nana said...

Very very creepy! And don't forget all those scary Halloween quilts you have. If gray streaks are a sign I have been a monster for years. When I was teaching my students sure thought so!!

Jenny Bowker said...

That is funny - but I cannot see the grey!

Do you know a Margaret Palmer from Cairo? Apparently she taught and the name is one of those elusive teasing memories.

Rosalyn Manesse said...

For goodness sake! Well, if we don't want to cry, we laugh instead. Get well soon, or Dr Frankenstein will come calling--I must take a camera the next time I go to the doctor--well, maybe not--

beth said...

:0 :0 Too funny!!!

Diane said...

Beware of villagers with blazing torches!

BTW, it's pronounced "FRONK-en- steen"

LOL

Hmmmmm....somewhere in the recesses of my fabric closet, lurks the Bride of Frankenstein.I think. I really must go look for this now.

Kim said...

Geese you are so brave!
I will NOT be showing my scars....some from playing Zorro with knifes and four brothers!

How is the tens unit working? Does it help?

I can't wait to see what you do with this fabric!

Happy Sewing

Elaine Adair said...

uhhh, just what part of the body are those electrodes ON? Not to be nosy but ... enquiring minds want to know! 8-)))

cauchy09 said...

you are adorable. totally one of the cute monsters. :o)

Vicky F said...

NOW we know why you like Halloween stuff!! You fit right in!
Funny, funny!

daveandlo said...

I think you need some better curtains on your door. Calico Corners has several stores in Florida with a great selection of sheer fabrics (on sale at the moment, too). I love reading your blog. You always make me smile. My grandmother had a goiter, too. She lived to be 90 and made great quilts! Lois

QuiltSwissy said...

Oh, that's nothing. Wait till you hit 50 and then some!

My Greater Swiss Mountain Dog Dutch has a nickname. We call him FrankenDog. He has had 3 mast cell tumor surgeries and they put like 40 staples in him each time. The second one was across his head and down his neck, hence his nickname.

glen

Nifty Quilts said...

lolrof!

Anne said...

I have a thyroidectomy scar, too. My throat was slashed twice. The scar left from the second surgery looks better than the first. I get annoyed when people stare at my neck when I am talking to them.

I'll admit that that electrical gizmo is quite frightening looking! I hope it's soothingly beneficial.

AnnieO said...

Wow, you're scaring me! I only have a couple of bitty little scars from gallbladder surgery and one under my left eyebrow from where my brother hit me with a shovel (accidentally) when I was three. You're definitely acquiring an uncommon collection!

joe tulips said...

OMG, you crack me up. Was it during the electrical input, that this brilliant post entered your brain??

Lynn said...

I had a scar that was the resulf of an older sibling needing a subject for a cool new bike trick. The trick was a fail, but I got this cool scare and now that I am pretty well middle aged, it's faded. So that's is one benefit of aging (sigh). I came across this blog http://goinggrayblog.com/. I'm still not quite sold.

jude said...

all stitched up and no loose threads.

YankeeQuilter said...

Now you did it...I have to go find my copy of "Young Frankenstein"...

Cindy said...

I'm beginning to get a nice collection of scars from mole removal. I have so many moles that one could play connect the dots for a really long time! I'm thinking that at some point in the future I'll have to get my husband a grease pencil (do they even make those anymore?) and he'll be doing connect the dot with scars! Gotta laugh!

Carol E. said...

Sorry, you can't make us love you any less, no matter how monstery you become. Nice try, though.

Cornelia said...

SO happy to see fans of Young Frankenstein!! It's one of my fave movies of all time (I even named my daughter Madeleine).
My bestie has had two surgeries on her neck, so being the snarky gal that I am, I can't resist calling her "Zipperneck" sometimes!

pwl said...

A single streak of white hair is the mark of a sorceress. At least that's what my hairdresser told me, and then got me to read the Belgarad series by David Eddings. (At least I think that's the name of it.) One of the main characters was Polgara - a sorceress with a streak of white in her hair.

Of course, that could make one even scarier. LOL

sewkalico said...

I'm sure I read somewhere that we're not supposed to arrive at our final destination in mint condition - otherwise we wouldn't have lived much! Love your battle scars - they prove you've won!!

Katie said...

Thanks for such a good laugh. I needed it! LOL

Kim said...

Hey those are my letters!
Mwa ha ha ha!

Feel better,

Chris Daly said...

that new fabric is great and I love you new glasses. Here's to being able to see your quilting when you look down.

qltmom9 said...

Bwaaa hahahaha~ You are so funny! There are TWO big differences though: Your face looks SO sweet in that pic with the "stripe" and you ARE so sweet.

Lucy (in IN)

Brenda said...

mwahahahahahahahahahah!

Barb said...

egads. this totally cracked me up = love the b and w photography -
you are a scream....

Kristin L said...

I know I'm not supposed to laugh at your misfortune, but I totally am! And YOU know I read "It's ALIVE!" in Gene Wilder's voice. :-) You are too funny -- scars and electricity -- great combo!