Friday, August 28, 2009

Ugh

I've been dealing with medical issues the last couple of weeks. I have a pelvic mass, probably most likely benign. But it's large and it has to come out but until all the test results are back the doctor doesn't know how she can preform the surgery (the easy robotic way with just keyhole incisions or the tradition surgical route) or when it needs to be done (in a couple of months, sooner, soonest).

I'll either be in the hospital overnight (best scenario) or several nights. My recovery time could be up to eight weeks depending on what has to be done. It's hard to plan. I'm worried about Pokey - she still has to get to the vet and I sure won't be able to crawl under the bed to get to her.

Ugh. I hate this, I hate the not knowing. I hate that my family is all so far away. My aunt (who's a quilter - yah!) is going to come help me out. I have this faint hope that I'll feel better really quickly so that we can have fun and sew but I know I'm fooling myself. I'll probably be spacey with drugs and cranky.

I probably won't know anymore or have the surgery schedule for another week. So welcome to the waiting game.

So anyway, that's what's going on with me. I haven't gotten any sewing done (that's an older photo of Pokey with Hope Strings Eternal) and barely any handquilting. I've definitely been reading too much medical info on the internet.

Later. Ya'all take care.

78 comments:

Quilt Pixie said...

may you find life giving ways of filling the time until the way forward is clearer...

Judy in Michigan said...

I will say prayers that the waiting won't be too long and the surgery will be soon, easily removed, and a quick recovery. I will say lots of prayers for you!! I'm sure someone will volunteer to help with Pokey and your dear Aunt will take good care of you. YOU take care dear Tonya!

Linda said...

I have been in your position. It's hard to wait and deal with the 'unknown'. Try to make yourself do something fun. Seriously. Please let us know how things are going. In the meantime, there will be many prayers for you. Wishing you the best scenario...

rlbates said...

You take care too! Hope all turns out okay!

BUMBLE BEANS said...

Hey tonya. Hope your waiting is not to long... sending some speedy recovery and good news your way... hugs

Peaceful Piecer said...

Sending prayers your way .... I used to pet sit...maybe your vet could recommend a sitter for pokey ,I stayed overnight for some clients and just visited 3 times a day for others....I did vet trips too....hope it all works out well

Kathryn said...

I hope for the best for your surgery and quick recovery.

Beth said...

Best wishes to you for the "easy" removal and a fast recovery!

Kim said...

Why did I have this feeling about you that all was not well?
I do hope it can be done by laparoscopy it is so much less traumatic to your body. You will be in my thoughts and prayers Tonya for a speedy recovery and benign findings. Please keep us posted.
Maybe you can board Pokey at the vet during your surgery and recovery.

Thinking of you

Laura said...

I'm thinking good thoughts that you will be able to have your surgery the easy way. That's how I had my hysterectomy three years ago and I was getting around well within a week and required no pain medication post op, other than Advil, which the doctor recommended just to get things "back to normal". You will still need help with Pokey, as you surmised, but it sounds like you have a plan for that. My uterus was the size of a bowling ball and the doctor was still able to do the surgery the easy way. I will keep my fingers crossed that the same is true for you.

Laura said...

One more thing...check out hystersisters.com if you haven't found it already. I didn't find the site until after my surgery, but it was still an excellent resource for me.

Anonymous said...

Just take it slow. It will all work out. Try to put a positive spin on everything, even tho it's tough. I had major abdominal surgery (sigmoid colectomy) in January. They were able to use the scope and I recovered right on schedule. I voiced all the same fears that you have stated, but it all worked out just fine. Hang in there! --Annette

Piwacket said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Saying them for Pokey as well. As you feel up to it, please keep us updated. You've touched a lot of people that you've never even met, and we care about you.

animal lover, quilt lover said...

Pokey, tell mammy we all wish her well!! Hope everything come out O K! I will be watching!
Hugs & good wishes, Fern

Irishgirlsews said...

Sending prayers your way, don't wait, the sooner you can take care of this the better. Prayers for a complete & full recovery, take good care of yourself & post as soon as you are up to it.
Wendy

KnitOneQuiltTooKristin said...

Oh man, Tonya. I am so sorry to hear this. I hope the surgery goes well whichever way it's done. I know the waiting is the worst, so I wish you peace and many distractions to take your mind off it. Will your hubby be able to come and stay for a while?

True Blue Nana said...

What a bummer! Surgery is always so stressful. I hope and pray things turn out well. There are so many advances in surgery these days. Lets hope for a quick recovery.

Quiltdivajulie said...

Do check around - there are lots of pet sitters out there (franchised and individuals). Jump on this now so you can work in tandem with "them" before you are laid up from whatever variation of the surgery ends up happening. That way your anxiety about Pokey will be reduced, she'll be more comfortable with whoever you choose as your surrogate, and you'll have the peace of continuity in place for before-during-and-after situation. Besides, you'll feel like you're doing something constructive which might help offset all the other waiting and wondering (by far the worst part of any medical anything).



p.s. this sounds like a time for mindless stitching ... so you and hear and feel the hum of the machine purring through your fingertips ... I so understand about getting sucked in by all the medical info on the web (overwhelming and often confusing)

Blessings to you - post and vent as you feel the need - we're all here for YOU!

Elaine Adair said...

Oh crud! I'm sorry - I am sure your are worried on several levels. You are in my prayers for speedy recovery. 8-)))

Kathy said...

I'm from the "get it out NOW" school of thought myself. Quilting saved my sanity when I had my problem because the internet did nothing but scare the heck out of me and figuring out a pattern and piecing those little bits of fabric kept me occupied enough to calm down. That, and a lot of praying. I will add my prayers to the many good thoughts and wishes going your way. Here in Israel, everyone you meet in the hospital, from the cleaning ladies to the doctors all say "bat slaha" when they meet you. It means good luck and I found it so reassuring. It meant a lot. I wish you Bat slaha Tonya.

Marit said...

Best wishes for both you and Pokey. Hope you don't have to wait for too long, Tonya.

Lori said...

Never a dull moment, right? I'm sorry to hear about your upcoming surgery. I had a laparoscopy done once - recovery went well but would have been easier if my doctor had written the pain med prescription correctly. I hope yours goes smoothly and you have a quick recovery. Maybe you can hire one of the vet techs to make house calls for Pokey while you're laid up? I'm sure they know you well at the vet by now ;-)

Take care. My thoughts are with you.

Caron said...

Prayers and good wishes for the two of you. I wish you lived closer... Pokey could keep my Stormie company. I'd be happy to help. But, since you're not in Michigan... {{{{{hugs}}}}}.

Kristin L said...

Bummer about the health issues and the interminable waiting. I wish you the best case scenario and hope that the wait for answers is as short as possible.

be*mused jan said...

I'll be thinking of you. Best wishes for some resolution to the waiting and a good outcome, Tonya.

Michele said...

Ugh is right! Hang in there. I'll send you some healing vibes for a very quick and easy recovery. Have fun quilting with your aunt!

Janet said...

I definitely be praying for you!!!
Keep us posted!Will your husband be able to be there with you?

Judy Laquidara said...

Sorry to hear about the medical issues. Hope you find out the details soon. As for Pokey under the bed, can you stick a bunch of boxes or folded quilts or something under the bed so she can't get under there. She may just find a more difficult hiding place! Good luck to you!

Sara said...

Plan to take a beautiful piece of fabric with you to the hospital! Both visually beautiful and sensory-feeling beautiful. Your aunt can keep it for you while the DEED is done, but before and after the surgery you can fondle it and have a piece of your "home" right there with you. Your whole environment need not be antisepticly white!

Best wishes. We'll all sew something bright and wonky while thinking of you as soon as we know the date.

Callie said...

Hope your Aunt can come well before the operation so you two can go out and have some fun and quilt a bit. Do what makes you happy! Indulge yourself! I'm sending you virtual chicken soup and hugs. Wish they were real.

Chocolate Cat said...

I'm not good at the waiting game and the unknown either. Try to spend time this week doing the things you love mixed with lots of cat loving and not worry about things until you know what is happening. Am thinking of you and have my fingers crossed it will be the smaller procedure and you will be home with your furry friends quickly xxx

stitchinpenny said...

Don't ya just hate the waiting? If you have to tell me I have a mass, tell me what it is or do something. It doesn't work that way. I had a situation where the insurance company in cost savings attempts spent about $200K in tests before they finally did the $65K surgery that my doctor recommended before the tests. I don't want to rush into surgery, but the tests and almost 2 years of pain were ridiculous. I hope that the mass is benign and the surgery uneventful.

ChrisQuilts said...

There are MANY people out there rooting for you - the waiting is the worst part. I hope all goes well for you AND Pokey.

Tanya said...

Oh dear. I hope you will be up and around quickly. Yes, concern over the animals if one is laid up comes first. "Who will do what?" "Have I taught hubby the ropes?" Please keep us all informed on how your treatments and moods go.

Tazzie said...

Gosh Tonya, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope everything goes well and wish you a speedy recovery. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
*hugs*
Tazzie
:-)

Dianne said...

So sorry, Tonya...I'm hoping for the short form of all this for you.

Holding a good thought and sending lots of hugs...

Deborah said...

I wish I could come and help! If this had been 2 weeks ago, I would have been on your porch. School started yesterday and those kids have a way of showing up every day.

A friend of mine had the robot surgery and had a remarkably quick recovery. Does the vet have any interns? Ours has young people working who have helped people with pet transport and emergencies.
Take care. Purrs and hugs,
Deborah

Statch said...

Tonya, ugh indeed! You poor thing. The Internet is a wonderful thing but it can really drive you nuts when you're researching something medical, can't it? I'll be thinking about you and watching for updates.

Linda said...

Sweetie, don't worry, all will work out. I think the universe is trying to say "Hey, more time to rest and come up with quilt ideas" especially since your aunt will be there. Take it easy!!

black bear cabin said...

There is nothing more frustrating than the waiting, and im sorry you have to go thru all that!
Ill be sending you good vibes for the "best scenario" version...and a quick recovery!
Its hard to imagine, but it will all come together...watch and see!
Now...stop surfing the net for medical info...that will get you all kinds of worried!
hugs~

Sharon said...

Oh Tonya, what a tough one! I'm wishing the "easy" route for you and a fast recovery.

Everyone has good advice for you, so I won't add to it. I'll just "ditto"! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Please do keep us informed as best you can - we all care about you. Hugs, purrs and headbutts for both you and the kitties.

AnnieO said...

Ugh. Gah. Pew. Criminy. Oh Crap.

Those are a few sympathetic phrases that went through my mind as I read about your health problems. I hope they quickly turn to "thank God that's over with"! Sorry this lot befell you and hope you get all the details worked out to soothe your cat-owner's worries.

Stephanie D. said...

Prescription: More sewing, less browsing medical sites on the internet. They'll just make you crazy.

Sending prayers for you and Pokey!

Hedgehog said...

I'm sorry to hear you're having some heath problems. Thinking of you - and hoping you find plenty of time and energy to create - it's so healing!

Nancy said...

Prayers for a speedy recovery Tonya. The pet sitter suggestion soundslike a good one, at least for the vet visits. Try to keep yourself busy during the waiting game. Even if you don't feel like sewing after the surgery, with all the projects and ideas you have, you and your quilty aunt will have lots to talk about and plan. Best wishes.

Frog Quilter said...

Hi Tonya once you know the schedule everything will fall into place. A lot of us women have had this scenario or worse and have made it through with flying colors. When I went thru mine I didn't quilt. So at least you have therapy now and during your recovery which I hope is "short".

So for now I agree with the other quilters/commenter bury yourself in a mindless project...

Vicky F said...

Hi Tonya,
Lots of positive vibes being sent your way from Michigan. I agree, waiting for a diagnosis and plan are the absolute pits. Worry less, sew more.
Vicky F

dee said...

sending you hugs and saying prayers for the speediest results.

Jay said...

Hi Tonya, You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending positive vibes and hoping that you don't have to wait long, that the prognosis is as good as can be, and that you have a speedy recovery. I know how hard it is to wait and undoubtedly worry. But keep on smiling, and do something FUN. Sew as much as you can. Take care and Big HUGS, Jay

quiltmom said...

Wishing you an easy surgery and a quick recovery, Tonya. Hope that your aunt is able to come and help you out so that the process is not too difficult.
Sending you good thoughts and wishing that your wait is not too long.
warmest regards,
Anna

SewCalGal said...

I'm truly sorry to hear that you are going to need surgery, but happy to hear your Aunt will come to help. If I lived closer I'd be happy to come help. But the best I can offer is the promise to send positive thoughts your way daily, and hope for a speedy recovery.

I'd also like to ask your four legged children to be helpful for you (no stomping on your stomach, or waking you up when you need to rest).

Please keep us posted.

SewCalGal
www.sewcalgal.blogspot.com

Notjustnat said...

Tonya, sorry to hear about your medical condition. Let's hope that everything will got well as you hope. I will be thinking of you and send lots of love and energy your way. Take good care and will look forward to hear the good news. Big hugs Natima

Anonymous said...

Good luck-it'll all work out. Sometimes the internet is a good thing and sometimes it's too much info-it can be overwhelming and scary. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Lois

Millie said...

Oh Tonya, I'm sending love and hugs and Millie sends purrs. I'll keep you in my prayers for a positive outcome.

Lynne

Kieny The Dutchlady said...

Wish you all the best Tonya, hope everything works out fine.

Clare said...

Oh Ton. I'm so sorry. If you were still here I'd be up there like a shot, making you cups of English Breakfast tea, though whether it would taste the same in a different mug after your fav got broken I don't know!

I think Julie's idea of a cat sitter/helper is brilliant. You can but try. If it doesn't work out then there is harm done.

Turn that computer off girl!

Big hugs.

Clare said...

Sorry - "no" harm done!!!!

xxx

Brigitte said...

dear Tonya,
words are not enough, but they mean a lot, caring, loving women all over the world. Best wishes are coming from Poland from the bottom of my heart! take care
Brigitte

YankeeQuilter said...

The waiting is definately the worst part...I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hanging the rosary beads out the window for ya....

Magpie Sue said...

Ugh indeed. It doesn't rain but it pours eh? You're in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.

Chris said...

I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Good luck with all that is to come and a speedy recovery!

Anonymous said...

Wishing you all the best Tonya..much hugs and hand-holding from out west in RB,CA. Everyting will be fine...you're loved 2-2 much to have anyting go badly.

Stack up some syrupy chik musical DVDs for yourself to watch during recovery. The sillier the better.

Take care and remember everbody is rooting for you!!!

delia

Jessica said...

My my, when it rains it pours...

I am hoping for the best and quickest recovery time for you. For plenty of energy for quilting and hanging out with your kitties.

I don't know about you, but sometimes getting lost in the medical maze of the internet sometimes is crazy making. I had to stop for a while.

I am thinking about you and know that you will get through it well. Here is a long distance hug.
--Jessica

sewprimitive karen said...

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Tonya.

Lynda said...

Facing the unknown is the worst bit. As soon as decisions are made about the surgery you will feel easier, and it'll all be over before you know it. Modern medical science is amazing, and I'm sure all will be well.

A Prairie Home said...

Too bad I'm in NV... I house sit all the time for local quilters. Sending healing thoughts and energy your way, Tonya.

~Erin

Anonymous said...

Prayers for you. Hope to hear only good news. Pokey will help you like you help him.Debbi

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you. You make sure you have a quilt with you at all times, to remind you of your friends and admirers all over the world.
Andrea in Minnesota

Stacey said...

sending you good vibes and hoping that it is "really nothing to worry about" fast recovery and hoping Pokey will be good too!

Susan said...

Tonya, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will have an easy surgery and a fast recovery. You have given so much to so many people, we all wish the best for you.

What Comes Next? said...

Sending you good thoughts and wishes for a quick, easy and comfortable recovery!

ROZ said...

Wishing you a speedy recovery, and may an angel watch over you

Shasta said...

I too am wishing you a speedy recovery time and fun time quilting with your aunt.

Marti said...

Tonya
I hope that all your tests come out for the better and that any surgery you have to go through is minimally invasive. Sending lots of prayers your way.
Miss Marti, a devoted follower

divagirl said...

I just discovered your blog and read about your pelvic mass. I'm glad your taking care of it. Don't let IT get the best of you. Be pro-active and assertive in your medical care. It works, believe me. I will send your positive thoughts and good wishes and hope that you have a speedy recovery. Blessings

Anonymous said...

I don't mean to tell you what to do OR perhaps I don't understand the issue...but please consider getting a second opinion and don't waste time putting off a surgery because your surgeon can't decide how and what she wants to do. Do it as soon as possible so that you can breathe easy and be on your way to recovery. One who has been there.

KathieB said...

Sorry to hear that you're dealing with something like this. No fun. I have been in your shoes also, with something very similar. Courage! And: quilting! Hang in there.

Linda in MI said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're facing surgery. Here's hoping it's a best case scenario. Courage; just take it one day at a time.

Hugs.